I stopped receiving phone calls long time ago because everyone who called wanted to know my whereabouts. Abeg send me money, you will not send and then you turn around to call me in order to enquire about my whereabouts. Like, what do you want to do with the routes?
It pains me to know that those who were expected to bring out money for youths empowerment had spent everything and warm up for more. So, I was not even hoping to get anything from the government. With God on my side, I knew that I was going to make it but with Chioma on my neck, my life is not something to write home about. I never told Chioma that I was in Enugu to carry out one of my numerous outside works but she didn’t bother to know as she was more interested in knowing how to go about meeting my people which I never told her about but every time, she narrates to me about how she sees an old woman in her dreams telling her to come home that she was her daughter-in-law.
Hia! At first, I suspected that it was malaria but after much thinking, I concluded that it was a spiritual problem from her mother’s side. Maybe, village people were pursuing her because I neither had a fair mother nor a woman that goes with a walking stick. So, she cried home and told me that it was over between us. I told her that there was no, “us.” And she increased the amplitude of her sobbing and threatened to report me to her father. So, I threatened to report her to the old woman who frequently disturbs her. Since then, we no longer threaten each other and the dreams stopped. When she asked me where I was from, I told her to forget it because I was just a walkaholic. I guess that was when she got to discover the blog and when I angered her, she entered the site and started commenting nonsense on the posts, telling people that I hide under the façade of a walkaholic to owe people offline. Hia! This girl wants to ruin my career o! I shouted openly as I managed to suspend her from the blog and pushed all her comments to the spam box except for the place where she commented that I was funny at times. After that incidence, some people thought that I was mad because I shouted openly but I didn’t mind. Maybe, that was why she sent me the money so that I could forget my past ordeals but even at that, I accepted it as my salary since she claimed that I worked with her as a sales boy at an imaginary supermarket.
When I lost my phone, Chioma gave me 99 missed calls before I found it and since then, I wondered if this was the kind of girl that I should get married to considering that I was used to quietness through my long habit of going to the library where a pin drop silence is required and I valued my peace. When I finally found my phone, I warned her never to call me on phone again and that was when heaven broke loose!
She called me all manner of names, dragged my family name to the mud and that evening, she came along with some area boys to beat me but I escaped through the window. The following day, I went to her house and apologized so that we could return to normal. She accepted but something in me did not wholly accept the re-union but I pretended to be smiling as I expected more alerts henceforth.
At times, I sit myself down to talk sense into my brain but nothing good seems to be coming out from my mouth. At times, I even fall asleep on the chair while thinking about my life and what the future holds for me but Chioma had told me not to worry that she would talk to her mother about me so that she could find me a space in one of the mammy markets in one of those barracks out there with her influence so that I could go there, slaughter bulls and sell to people but I had always rejected such idea as I had always wanted to be a computer literate but she insisted. So, I gave up on the relationship. Those two weeks that we were not together were the most miserable days of my life. So, I realized that I had gotten used to her, her troubles and her constant harassments. So, I called off the break on our relationship and when we re-united, she told me that she was relocating from the state. So, I fainted.
When I managed to regain my consciousness, she told me that she was travelling outside the country. I fainted again. Then, she said that it was April fool game. So, I coughed three times and wake up only to realize that the whole of her family members were surrounding me because I went to their house that day to clear the air on why I had decided to call it a quit with her only to hear the bad news which to her was good.
There was another version of me that Chioma does not know about. I was a graduate. I worked as an agent for a company that helps people to obtain visa. When she talked about travelling abroad in one of her pranks, I started thinking in that direction. Actually, I invested that her money in an online platform and when it was due, I withdrew the whole thing without losing a dime. So, after that incidence, I started making contacts to see how we could leave the country but knowing how to sneak out with somebody’s daughter just like that eluded me. I love Chioma but I have not proposed to her. Each time I bring up the issue to strategize on how to do the proposal of a thing, I feel a heavy knock on my head.
So, I decided to do it online. I went and registered a domain name called Chiomalockdown, titled it “Yes or No,” then I sent the link to her with the question, “Will you marry me?” as we speak, I am still waiting for her response but somebody is shouting my name outside. Maybe, I have slept for too long. Oh! What a dream.
I know that it must have been one of these my neigbours that was shouting my name. So, let me introduce you to them. Sule is one of the boys that live with us. He has a big stomach but he is a good guy. Ibrahim his younger brother is the one who claims to be the street chairman and he gives me head ache. Mandela is the tall guy in our street and I always compete with him.
Our work is to do work. Once we wake up in the morning, the next thing is to start looking for a site where we could work and get paid. Think about our area as a global village because we bump into one another at intervals. So, whenever you hear anything about Thinkers corner especially that Chinmark Avenue, Geoffrey Okoye University or even Jennifer’s plaza, just know that we are involved (whether good or bad.)
I don’t know why, whenever we go to work, I am always the first to come back. It seems as if the aroma of the food that they leave in the pot draws my attention. So, on this particular day, I had returned from work and stumbled upon the nicely cooked jollof rice in the pot which I ate without minding who cooked it. So, when Sule came calling my name, he wondered why I was just mentioning, “Chioma, Chioma, Chioma” as I came out to meet him. So, he changed the topic and told me that I should wash the pot with which I had eaten. After that, he called a meeting and announced that I needed Jesus. So, they prayed for me. That evening, I had no option but to repent but I still cherished the dream that I had.
I called my uncle and told him about everything and he said that I should not worry that he was going to visit me on Tuesday when the lockdown is due to be lifted.
Chioma, wherever you are, find me! Stop the hide and seek game. It is too much of a dream.
Lols!!
Lessons: At times, lower yourself and ask for forgiveness.
2. Look before you leap.
3. Invest.
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