She saved my number with ‘Uche Car Park 16’ and I saved hers with Chioma Lockdown 11, now she is angry with me and even threatened to call my mother and tell her about how terrible I was.
I do not know why, but each time I hear the word, ‘Chioma,’ my heart skips a beat. Maybe, it is because she is the reason why I am crying. No wonder, the first time that I tried to save her phone number in my phone, I was having a mixed feeling. Now, I know why.
Chioma called me on phone at about 11:35PM one Tuesday and said that I should start coming to their house so that I could present myself as a worthy suitor to her father who just returned from Australia and when I asked her why, she said that according to the Greenwich meridian time, night in Nigeria was daytime in Australia that I should come at once since her father considers the time as being almost noon and I was flabbergasted.
Who told her that I was planning to be a suitor to her? I had only collected her phone number at the car park and she had already assumed that we were dating. Like seriously, is that how two people go into a relationship?
I dragged myself to the place where my wardrobe was located and put on a pair of jean trousers while reaching out for my brown polo which was hung there like a lifeless object. So, I left. I called her when I got close to their house and she said that I should stand before the gate and shout her name three times, then run into the bush that was located close to her house and hide in order to avoid unforeseen circumstances. I was confused at that manner of signal but I obeyed and when I did, the security dog was the first to run out through an opening close to the gate. Then a security operative who I suspected to be the gateman came out with a very big torchlight and as if that was not enough, her younger sister came out with a bowl of warm water mixed with peppery substances and poured them in front of the gate. Then, I knew that I was finished.
“So, this girl brought me out to kill me in this place.” I thought to myself as I hid myself close to the fence, just near a tree and then the unthinkable happened. All the bulbs that were located inside and within the compound went off and all the electric bulbs which I suspected to be controlled by a solar inverter located on top of the fence and pointing outwards came on. Then, I knew that I was actually in the midst of thorns. I covered my face with my two palms yet I couldn’t cry. The next thing I heard was a voice emanating from a microphone within the compound asking me to surrender my weapons and come out from wherever it was that I was hiding and present myself genuinely before the whole place gets too hot for me because the men of Arzimuthal parade team were on patrol.
So, I called Chioma and informed her about the latest development and she said that I should hang on and wait till it is dawn so that she could handle the whole situation by herself. In the meantime, she was having a mood swing and I didn’t need to disturb her. I cut the phone call and spat on the ground without minding whose ox is gored.
How I managed to escape that night was a mystery as Chioma never showed up. Recalling all these now, I could only cry and wish that I never went there, but to cut the long story short, I lost my fancy brown polo and managed to come back with my belt and pair of trousers still intact.
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